The Power of Self-Compassion in Stressful Moments
“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” – Buddha
As the holidays start creeping closer, life can feel like it’s moving at lightning speed. Suddenly, there’s a long list of things to do, people to see, and deadlines to meet. It’s like we’re expected to somehow hold it all together, with a big smile, no less! But here’s the thing - sometimes, we end up putting so much pressure on ourselves to be “perfect” that we forget to be fair and kind to ourselves in the process (or to actually breathe!).
I’ve been there. There was a time not too long ago when I had so much going on that I felt completely overwhelmed. Instead of taking a breath, I piled on more tasks and, honestly, got really hard on myself. “Why can’t I handle this better?” “Why am I so tired?” And maybe my favourite line: “I should be able to do it all!” (Raise your hand if you've had that ‘lil pep talk with yourself before!). But here’s the truth: this way of thinking only added to my stress.
One day, I just stopped. I took a step back and asked myself: “Would I talk this way to a friend?” Of course not! I’d remind them they’re doing their best and that it’s okay to feel tired (and maybe offer them some coffee, tea or chocolate). That little moment was all it took for me to realize that I could extend the same compassion to myself. That’s what self-compassion is all about.
What is Self-Compassion?
Self-compassion is simply being fair and kind to yourself, like you are to everyone else, especially when things are tough. It’s understanding that it’s okay to struggle, to make mistakes, and to not have all the answers (and maybe to occasionally wear your pj’s all day). It’s about treating yourself like you would a close friend — with empathy, humour and understanding.
Try This Self-Compassion Exercise: Write Yourself a Letter
If you’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed, take a moment to sit down and write yourself a kind, understanding letter. Think of it as a note to yourself from someone who loves you dearly (because, hey, that should be you!). Here’s a simple guide to get started:
This little act of writing can be a powerful reminder to give yourself a break. Remember, you don’t have to be perfect—just human.
An Alternative: A Quick Self-Compassion Pause
If writing isn’t your thing, or you’re simply not up for it, here’s another way to practice self-compassion that’s quick and doesn’t require pen and paper. This is what I call a Self-Compassion Pause:
This short pause can do wonders when you’re in the middle of a busy day and just need a moment of kindness.
As the holiday season picks up, let’s all try to be a little more fair and kind to ourselves. After all, as Buddha wisely said, “You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”
Let’s keep this in mind as we dive into these busy months together. You’re not alone in this, and you truly deserve all the kindness you so easily give to others.
As the holidays start creeping closer, life can feel like it’s moving at lightning speed. Suddenly, there’s a long list of things to do, people to see, and deadlines to meet. It’s like we’re expected to somehow hold it all together, with a big smile, no less! But here’s the thing - sometimes, we end up putting so much pressure on ourselves to be “perfect” that we forget to be fair and kind to ourselves in the process (or to actually breathe!).
I’ve been there. There was a time not too long ago when I had so much going on that I felt completely overwhelmed. Instead of taking a breath, I piled on more tasks and, honestly, got really hard on myself. “Why can’t I handle this better?” “Why am I so tired?” And maybe my favourite line: “I should be able to do it all!” (Raise your hand if you've had that ‘lil pep talk with yourself before!). But here’s the truth: this way of thinking only added to my stress.
One day, I just stopped. I took a step back and asked myself: “Would I talk this way to a friend?” Of course not! I’d remind them they’re doing their best and that it’s okay to feel tired (and maybe offer them some coffee, tea or chocolate). That little moment was all it took for me to realize that I could extend the same compassion to myself. That’s what self-compassion is all about.
What is Self-Compassion?
Self-compassion is simply being fair and kind to yourself, like you are to everyone else, especially when things are tough. It’s understanding that it’s okay to struggle, to make mistakes, and to not have all the answers (and maybe to occasionally wear your pj’s all day). It’s about treating yourself like you would a close friend — with empathy, humour and understanding.
Try This Self-Compassion Exercise: Write Yourself a Letter
If you’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed, take a moment to sit down and write yourself a kind, understanding letter. Think of it as a note to yourself from someone who loves you dearly (because, hey, that should be you!). Here’s a simple guide to get started:
- Acknowledge What You’re Feeling – Start by saying, “I know you’re feeling stressed and overwhelmed.” Just naming it can feel like a weight lifted. (Remember ‘name it to tame it’)
- Validate Your Struggles – Remind yourself that it’s okay to feel this way. “Everyone feels overwhelmed at times. This doesn’t mean you’re not capable; it means you’re human.”
- Offer Some Encouragement – Write words of kindness to yourself. “You’re doing the best you can, and that’s enough.” ( Bonus points if you add, ‘We’ve got this!”)
- Remind Yourself of What You Need – Think of what would help. Maybe it’s rest, a walk outside, a tea/coffee or calling a friend. “Take time to rest and do things that make you feel grounded.”
This little act of writing can be a powerful reminder to give yourself a break. Remember, you don’t have to be perfect—just human.
An Alternative: A Quick Self-Compassion Pause
If writing isn’t your thing, or you’re simply not up for it, here’s another way to practice self-compassion that’s quick and doesn’t require pen and paper. This is what I call a Self-Compassion Pause:
- Take a Deep Breath – Just breathe in slowly, and as you breathe out, let yourself relax a bit.
- Put a Hand on Your Heart – Or wherever it feels most comforting to you. This small physical touch can remind you that you’re there for yourself.
- Say a Kind Thought – Silently or out loud, say something compassionate to yourself. It can be as simple as, “It’s okay to feel this way,” or a thought like “I’m here for you” (from you, the Wise Leader of your system).
This short pause can do wonders when you’re in the middle of a busy day and just need a moment of kindness.
As the holiday season picks up, let’s all try to be a little more fair and kind to ourselves. After all, as Buddha wisely said, “You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”
Let’s keep this in mind as we dive into these busy months together. You’re not alone in this, and you truly deserve all the kindness you so easily give to others.