Navigating the Emotional Landscape of Moving: A Journey of Unexpected Lessons

Moving homes is often touted as one of life's most stressful events, right up there with changing jobs or navigating a significant relationship shift. It's a process filled with excitement, hope, and the promise of a fresh start. But for many of us, it's also a journey laced with unexpected hiccups, hidden emotions, and surprisingly profound life lessons.

Take, for instance, the move that I’m currently in. My active clients know that I was scheduled to move last week on Thursday and Friday, from Milton to Stoney Creek. Just when we thought everything was falling into place, our house was all packed up onto the mover’s trucks, the buyer's money didn't come through at the last minute. Suddenly, our carefully laid plans unraveled, leaving us in a standstill. Where would we stay until the houses closed with the bank? They ‘promised’ us it would go through on Friday but still no news. It was 4 pm on the Friday of a long weekend, our house was empty, everything was turned off and we couldn’t stay there.

The first reactions were filled with anxiety, lack of control and the apprehension about all of the unknowns. In amongst the present worry-type thoughts were also the future worries. What if the new neighborhood isn't as welcoming? What if we don't feel at home in the new house? What if our daughters didn’t settle in well and have a really hard time with the process? These questions came and went in my awareness, stirring up moments of anxiety and doubt. My mindfulness skills came in handy as I created space for the scattered thoughts, feelings, sensations and behavioural urges that came and went, depending on where my attention travelled. The mindfulness attitudes that Jon Kabat-Zinn taught us also helped: non-judgment, patience, trust, kindness, acceptance, letting go and a Beginner’s Mind. My husband and I had to eventually decided to focus and discern where we had some degree of control so that we could start finding some temporary solutions.

In times like these, you realize the immense value of a supportive social network. Friends opened their doors, offering a place to stay for the long weekend and a sense of stability amidst the chaos. We graciously accepted and enjoyed their great company during the Canada Day long weekend. Then, serendipity struck: We remembered my sister and her husband were scheduled to travel abroad with their family, and they generously offered their home. The gratitude I felt was overwhelming.

But beneath this gratitude lurked a range of hidden emotions. There was the grief of leaving behind a familiar space filled with memories. The rooms that echoed with laughter, the corners that witnessed our tears, and the walls that bore silent witness to countless family moments. Moving isn't just about transporting belongings; it's about uprooting a part of our lives.

This move is especially significant because my home was also my home office for a decade. I welcomed clients into this space to do their healing work, and I am deeply honoured to have held the space for their processes and to be a witness on their journeys. Realizing that this chapter is closing carries its own unique grief, even though it will be continuing on, just in a different format.

We are still awaiting answers about when we might be able to move into the new house. But having this time to pause before we hit the ground running with moving our things into the new home has been surprisingly good for me in some ways. Reflecting on this journey, I recognize that one of my survival strategies (a.k.a. “adaptations”, as they call it in the therapy world), was that as a kid I learned that I had to be strong and keep moving forward, often being cut off from my own feelings. I have been working on this in my own personal healing journey so that I can override the tendency to be matter-of-fact and just keep going, and practice pausing and feeling my feelings, in an embodied way. I am grateful for those survival strategies that got me through and also grateful that I have this time to pause, honour and experience the feelings as they come and go.

Amidst the physical and emotional upheaval, I've come to realize that moving is also way more than just a logistical challenge! It's a powerful reminder of life's unpredictability and our resilience. Here are some questions I've been pondering, not as solutions but as points for reflection:

• How do we deal with the grief of leaving behind a place that holds so many memories?
• In what ways can we embrace the uncertainty of the future without letting it paralyze us?
• How can the support of our friends and family help us navigate the inevitable challenges of life transitions?
• What does it mean to create a "home" in a new place, and how do we start that process?

Each of these questions doesn't have a definitive answer, but they offer a path to deeper understanding and self-awareness. Life transitions and new chapters are unique experiences for everyone, filled with their own set of trials and triumphs. It's in these moments of upheaval that we often learn the most about ourselves, our relationships, and our capacity for growth.

As you navigate your own moves and life transitions, this is just a gentle remember to try honour the emotions that surface and that the ones that might be beneath the surface. Allow yourself to grieve, to feel anxious, and to embrace the uncertainty. Lean on your supports, practice self-compassion, and strive for resilience and equanimity.

Here's to embracing every chapter with mindfulness, grace and courage, finding and appreciating our way home, wherever that may be.