Embracing the Goodness Within
Welcome back to the Mindfulness for Health blog. I’m truly grateful you’ve chosen to spend a few moments here. In my work as a psychotherapist, I see daily how quickly our minds latch onto whatever feels wrong or “not enough.” This tendency, thanks to a built-in “negativity bias” can make it seem like our challenges are bigger than any goodness going on simultaneously. But renowned meditation teacher Tara Brach so beautifully reminds us, genuine healing begins when we recognize our innate capacity for goodness, kindness, love and compassion.
Why We’re Hardwired for Negativity
We live in a time where it feels like everything around us is competing for our attention: stressful news, nonstop notifications, and an ever-growing to-do list. From an evolutionary standpoint, our brains learned to spotlight threats so we could stay safe. Although fewer true dangers lurk in our modern environment, this “early warning” system still switches on at the slightest hint of trouble. In essence, what we focus on grows stronger, and as neuroscience often puts it, neurons that fire together, wire together. The more we dwell on fears or frustrations, the more we reinforce those pathways in our minds.
Today’s Triggers: Work, Worry, and Wi-Fi
Right now, many of us are dealing with:
Even though these moments aren’t life-threatening, our brains can still interpret them as serious stressors, cementing that negativity loop.
The Power of Shifting Focus
So how do we break free from this cycle? Research in positive psychology shows that purposefully acknowledging moments of goodness is a powerful way to bring more balance into our thoughts. We’re not dismissing real struggles, just making space to notice and savour what’s working in our favour.
Try This: The next time something uplifting happens — maybe you notice a warm breeze on your face, a stranger does something kind, or you have a great convo — let yourself really pause and take it in. Pay attention to the details. Even a few extra seconds of appreciative attention can help form new neural connections that support feelings of calm and contentment.
Small Shifts, Big Payoffs
Cultivating a more balanced mindset takes practice, just like everything, but here are a few ways I often suggest:
Rewiring Through Repetition
You may have heard the phrase, “Neurons that fire together, wire together.” Every time you shift your attention to a moment of positivity — no matter how brief — you’re helping your brain create and deepen new neural pathways. Over time, these small changes add up, supporting a more resilient and open-hearted way of moving through life. These things might seem simple but it turns out they’re also good for our brains, so a few reminders never hurt. I know my brain needs a lot of reminders, review and repetition!
Life tosses us curveballs, challenges and never-ending uncertainties — like rushing out the door only to find your car’s on empty, or realizing you just spilled coffee on your shirt or top right before a big meeting. It’s all part of being human. But by understanding our natural lean toward negativity, and by consciously rooting ourselves in the positive, we can find more ease and balance in day-to-day moments. We can balance out that sneaky negativity bias. Each time you pause to notice a simple moment of beauty, reach out to a friend for a real conversation, or appreciate something about yourself, you’re strengthening the mental “muscles” that help you tap into the warmth already inside you.
Thank you for taking the time to read and explore these ideas. May you discover the gentle, yet powerful, impact of focusing on what’s right and good—even in the midst of life’s inevitable ups and downs.
Why We’re Hardwired for Negativity
We live in a time where it feels like everything around us is competing for our attention: stressful news, nonstop notifications, and an ever-growing to-do list. From an evolutionary standpoint, our brains learned to spotlight threats so we could stay safe. Although fewer true dangers lurk in our modern environment, this “early warning” system still switches on at the slightest hint of trouble. In essence, what we focus on grows stronger, and as neuroscience often puts it, neurons that fire together, wire together. The more we dwell on fears or frustrations, the more we reinforce those pathways in our minds.
Today’s Triggers: Work, Worry, and Wi-Fi
Right now, many of us are dealing with:
- Work Overload: Email after email, text after text—the constant flow of digital communication can keep us stuck in a cycle of urgency.
- Social Media Scroll: Meant to foster connection, it can just as easily leave us feeling anxious or comparing ourselves to others.
- Tech Glitches: Few things rattle a calm mindset quite like having your computer freeze or update at the worst possible moment.
Even though these moments aren’t life-threatening, our brains can still interpret them as serious stressors, cementing that negativity loop.
The Power of Shifting Focus
So how do we break free from this cycle? Research in positive psychology shows that purposefully acknowledging moments of goodness is a powerful way to bring more balance into our thoughts. We’re not dismissing real struggles, just making space to notice and savour what’s working in our favour.
Try This: The next time something uplifting happens — maybe you notice a warm breeze on your face, a stranger does something kind, or you have a great convo — let yourself really pause and take it in. Pay attention to the details. Even a few extra seconds of appreciative attention can help form new neural connections that support feelings of calm and contentment.
Small Shifts, Big Payoffs
Cultivating a more balanced mindset takes practice, just like everything, but here are a few ways I often suggest:
- Micro-Moments of Gratitude: Write down or bring to mind a small thing you feel grateful for each day — like a delicious cup of tea/coffee or a simple kind gesture from a neighbour, friend or loved one…can be the smallest thing.
- Mindful Pauses: When you feel your stress rising, try a couple of slow, mindful breaths. With each exhale, invite tension or breaking in the body to soften and release. This mini-break interrupts negative thought spirals and helps you self-regulate.
- Celebrate Tiny Wins: Finished a project or tackled a chore? Give yourself credit, no matter how small it seems.
- Share the Good Stuff: When a friend or family member does something that lifts your spirit, acknowledge it out loud or drop them a note of thanks.
Rewiring Through Repetition
You may have heard the phrase, “Neurons that fire together, wire together.” Every time you shift your attention to a moment of positivity — no matter how brief — you’re helping your brain create and deepen new neural pathways. Over time, these small changes add up, supporting a more resilient and open-hearted way of moving through life. These things might seem simple but it turns out they’re also good for our brains, so a few reminders never hurt. I know my brain needs a lot of reminders, review and repetition!
Life tosses us curveballs, challenges and never-ending uncertainties — like rushing out the door only to find your car’s on empty, or realizing you just spilled coffee on your shirt or top right before a big meeting. It’s all part of being human. But by understanding our natural lean toward negativity, and by consciously rooting ourselves in the positive, we can find more ease and balance in day-to-day moments. We can balance out that sneaky negativity bias. Each time you pause to notice a simple moment of beauty, reach out to a friend for a real conversation, or appreciate something about yourself, you’re strengthening the mental “muscles” that help you tap into the warmth already inside you.
Thank you for taking the time to read and explore these ideas. May you discover the gentle, yet powerful, impact of focusing on what’s right and good—even in the midst of life’s inevitable ups and downs.